Today was one of those Days People Dread. Last week, I knew it would be here much sooner than I'd hoped, but it couldn't have picked a worse time. I'm in my 3rd year of law school & far enough along that if I withdrew, I'd lose my financial assistance & not get a refund on my tuition. I'm depending on my financial aid to live on & pay my bills because I'm not working & my husband was laid off in June. I was late paying my phone bill on top of that, so it was cut off most of yesterday & this morning.
Before noon, I got the ominous, urgent email from my brother to call him right away about our Mom. Naturally, both he & my mother's caretaker tried to call me, but couldn't get me until around noon today. Thanks for your prompt reconnection of my line, AT&T. An hour, my ass.
Well, my mother is back in the hospital now and she's not doing well. It's a matter of time & that time is very short. From what I could gather, they have her on life support pending the arrival of family members because the caretaker is not authorized to make any decisions that we will need to make.
My brother is probably there now as he got on a plane today. I'm stuck here because I have $1.19 to my name until tomorrow when I will be getting my financial aid. Of course, by that time, it may well be too late to see her before she's gone. You can't even imagine how bad I feel right now. I can't be where I should be & I wonder if my Mom has wondered why I'm not there with her.
At least when my Dad passed, I was young enough not to have to worry about how I will get there or the financial implications of his passing or handling many of the administrative matters that I will be dealing with now. I guess no one picks a 'convenient' time to die for the ones left behind. I just realize how strong my mother was to be able to take care of things that had to be done when my Dad passed.
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