2 posts in one year?

I do miss blogging so may be posting more. This is a second post in the same year which is good considering it was years between posts before. But now I have a lot of alone time unfortunately so maybe this is a good outlet. It was recommended in my griefshare class but I was so numb and in shock that journaling would have felt forced and would have been one more added thing on my plate, which I didn’t need then.  I’m still catching myself to go show hubby a funny video or picture and then realize he’s not here.  I was always one that enjoyed quiet (because my late husband was NOT a quiet person), but after he passed I finally figured out why my mother used to keep the TV on when she wasn’t watching it.  I didn’t get to ask her how she coped being a widow because she’s passed on as well. But now I get it. I still like my quiet but I also have the TV or music on more than I used to. I had Bible study tonight in person. Only 3 of us ladies showed up but all 3 of us are widows. It’s like we get each other. I now get why my mother spent time with select lady friends (all widows) when my Dad passed.  They understood each other because you’ve all been through it.

On another note, God, the universe, the pastor, Joyce Meyer have all indicated to me that I need to start adopting healthier habits. I’m trying to get my full night of sleep. Been doing good on that. Trying to get back to only water at night. Then I need to start walking or exercising. I figure I can start with walking, first by myself, then see if I can get Thor to behave on a walk so I can start walking with him. Thor is my German Shepherd. I’d like to get back to a gym or at least get a rowing machine. Problem with a rowing machine or any sort of equipment is space. I don’t have a lot of space to put one and I really need to redo and declutter my bedroom to suit everything it’s used for. It’s my home office in one corner and the other side has a huge dog crate and Litter Robot along that wall. The dog crate blocks a closet I haven’t looked at in 2 years. That means it really needs to be gone through and then used to store things I don’t use often. Which would solve my lack of closet space for things I do wear… which would help declutter the bathroom and the top of the dog crate. Behind my bed is a 55 gallon fish tank that is nearly empty of water. Fish died, I didn’t replace them. My husband was the one that knew about fish tanks. I just want to get rid of it because as much I love fish and we had some for years, salt and fresh; it’s one more thing for me to have to take care of, and I have enough animals to take care of right now. Plus it should give me more room to push the bed back once it’s gone, although I’d like a headboard, preferably one I can put books in. And if I’m having to move the bed, which is HEAVY because it’s a Purple mattress, then whatever is under the bed need to be gone through. There’s probably enough cat hair under there to make another cat.  So where was I? Oh exercise. Yes I’m well aware that actually DOING all that prep work to declutter my bedroom and bathroom to see if I can fit an exercise machine in here and have a place to fold it up; is in itself exercise, especially moving the bed, dragging the fish tank and cabinet out, etc.  But the main thing is that there will be so much pet hair, dust and dander stirred up when this is started. And it’s not something I can really do one part one time and another part another time. It really needs to be done at once and cleaned well while doing it and before putting things back. So it is a MAJOR undertaking that is near impossible to break up in more manageable steps, and on top of that, I can look forward to sneezing, water eyes and asthma issues from stirring up all the dust etc.for days after.  So yeah maybe just forget the rowing machine for now and just start back to a gym.  However for now I just want to walk because I’m trying to do something simple to start and try to build a habit.  Turns out the two ladies I met with tonight both walk everyday. Ok well I’m gonna try to find something to watch.